Gift number 14: curves? I guess?

This is a random thing to be posting about, especially because it is something I am still working through.  Here is a little photo evidence that weight does not equal happiness.


June 2011
June 2011


October 2012

Ok. Both of these pictures are of me– my legs in the same pair of jean shorts.

The picture on the right is of me in October 2012. First semester of college. Enough said. I am pretty sure society is telling me (and you) that the legs on the right are beautiful. They are thin, which is usually good, I guess.

But the interesting thing is that I was completely MISERABLE and i mean MISERABLE when that picture was taken last semester.  Being thin is just not where my body is at its healthiest.  It is natural for some people to be thin and healthy, but not for me. At the time of that picture, I was really battling an eating disorder every day and was living in so much fear, isolation, and loneliness…

The picture on the left is of me in June 2011– after I graduated high school— a time when I was having legitimately one of the happiest weeks of my life. So so so so so so happy.   It was taken while I was at Young Life camp… aka the best week ever.

So when I begin to realize that I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made, and that my worth does not come from how thin my legs are, the happier I become.

God says to delight yourself in him and he will give you the desires of your heart. My heart yearns to have 6 kids and carry babies on my hips and sweep the floor twice a day and make key lime pie for my husbands birthday and drink coffee with my neighbors and grow my own sweet potatoes and push strollers around  hilly neighborhoods and sing with the chicklets in the bath tub and have a strong, healthy body that can do those things with love and joy and passion and thankfulness. And if doing those things with grace and lightheartedness means that I have to sacrifice size 0 legs, then I will do it, because that is where God has put my heart and that is where I will rejoice and be glad.



6 thoughts on “14

  1. This is so beautiful Hannah. I am so proud of you. I know it has not been easy, but soooo joyful to hear you say this. Love U, Janet Hall

  2. Sounds like you are a new creation Hannah, and don’t forget the apple of his eye! Every day I believe we are adding something of his character, while still living in our flesh. You are a lovely young woman and I am believing with you, in the future of your motherhood! What a beautiful vision you have, and so well put. Love you much, Jennifer

  3. Hi Hannah Grace! We do not know eachother that well, but I just finished my first year at Clemson as well. I just wanted to let you know that this post gave me a little hope. I had a breakdown this morning concerning this exact struggle and remembered seeing this post on fb last spring before coming home. For some reason, I just had to come back and reread. Thank you for being the light you are on campus and thank you for reminding me that we are enough in His eyes.

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